Breaking up is tough, no matter who dumped who, and no matter how serious the relationship was. When a couple calls it quits it can really hurt, even if if was just a casual relationship. The idea of moving on and getting over the pain can seem impossible at first but trust that you will get over it. All you need is a little guidance from these top tips to recover from the emotional damage of ending casual relationship:
Spend time with friends.
It’s so tempting to pull the covers over your head and stay in bed, isolated from everyone, even your best friends. Resist the urge to hide out alone and turn to your friends during this tough time. They’ll lift you up, provide you with a distraction, and get you laughing again. If you’re blaming yourself for the breakup and your self-esteem has taken a hit, your friends are just what you need to remember all of your positive attributes and the great things about you instead of dwelling on your faults.
Find a project.
Throw yourself into a project as a way to distract yourself from the pain of breaking up. It can be anything as long as it’s something that excites you. Train for that half-marathon you’ve always wanted to run, re-decorate your living room, find a charity to volunteer with, start a blog, join a book club, or plan a trip you’ve been meaning to take. It doesn’t matter what the project is, as long as you’re pumped about it and can put all of your energy into it, giving you something else to focus on besides thinking about how sad you feel.
Have a fling.
Everyone cautions against rebounding after a relationship ends, but the truth is that it can be just what you need to get over your ex. Without getting into anything serious, look for someone to have a fun, casual fling with. Maybe you have a buddy that you can take out of the friendzone and hook up with, flirt with someone hot on a live cam site, or pick someone up at the best bar in your area for a one-night stand. Live a little and treat yourself to some no-strings-attached fun with someone else for a way to remind yourself that you’ve still got it and you don’t need your ex.
Wallow a little bit.
It’s great to find a few distractions from your breakup pain, but you still need to go through the feelings before you can get to the other side. Don’t force yourself into fake happy mode immediately after your casual relationship ends. Instead, give yourself a chance to feel as sad as you want to. Eat ice cream in bed, watch sad movies, cry with your cat – do whatever you want to do to wallow in your pain. The only catch is that you have a limited time to do so. Give yourself a couple of days and then get up, get dressed, and shake it off. Once you’ve allowed yourself to be miserable it’s time to move on.
Celebrate being single.
Now is the time to remember that being in a relationship isn’t all good. In fact, there are lots of reasons why it’s better to be single and now is the time to remember why. Enjoy going out all day and night with your friends without having to check in with anyone, wear your ugliest sweatpants at home, watch your favorite movies on Netflix without compromising, and pick what takeout to order without worrying about the kind of food someone else is craving. There are lots of perks to being single and you can now enjoy them for a while.
Think about the things they did that drove you crazy.
Even though you’re sad about your casual dating relationship ending there’s a silver lining – you are now free from all the stuff they did that you hated. Were they too self involved? Did they snore or chew with their mouth open? Maybe you couldn’t stand their friends or family, or they kept you in the friendzone too long before making a move which you found to be annoying. Make a list of all of the stuff you hated and remind yourself that you’re better off without them. Then tear up the list and move on.
Give it time.
All of the tips above are great, proactive steps you can take when trying to get over a breakup, but the number one thing that heals the pain of a relationship ending is time. You can’t rush your feelings or force yourself to get over your ex. Just give it time and you will feel better as you let time pass. When you give yourself the space and time to get over a breakup you’ll find that you simply just start to feel better and start thinking about them less and less, meaning you’re finally putting the pain behind you and starting to move on to a new chapter in your life.