Whether you’re messaging sexy woman on a one of the top cam sites or sending an email to a woman in your area that you’re trying to hook up with there will always be the initial point of contact where you write your first message. If you’re a gifted wordsmith this will come easily to you, but the rest of the men out there need a little help in writing the perfect message to a woman they want to impress. Here are some basics to keep in mind for that first message:

Get personal.

Your messages aren’t going to be working for you if they’re generic. When you’re messaging a woman to try to get a date, or you’re just looking to hook up, you need to stand out from the crowd. Regardless of whether it’s someone you know in person or a woman online, give her some information about yourself that she can use to relate to you. Simply giving your age and location isn’t enough to grab anyone’s attention and make her want to chat with you.

Be original.

If you’re writing a message for an online dating site you’ve got the good fortune of being able to browse other men’s profiles before writing your first message. Most guys don’t think to look up other men on dating sites when they’re trying to meet women, but this is a secret trick that can give you a leg up on the competition. See what everyone else is saying in their messages and look for patterns. Chances are that most guys are repeating a different version of the same thing. This gives you the chance to step up your game and do the opposite of what everyone else is doing.

Make it about her.

Guys often make the mistake of writing their first message with only themselves in mind. Sure, it’s your chance to introduce yourself and talk about yourself, but there’s usually a missed opportunity where men could be engaging the woman a little more. Turn the tables and make your first message more about her than it is about you. Ask what she’s into or what she’s looking for instead of leading with all of the things you’re interested in.

Put yourself out there.

Playing things safe is a way to ensure that your message will get lumped into a group with all of the other guys out there. The best way to stand out on a dating site or when messaging with a woman in your area is to take a few risks. Say something outlandish, be bold, be unique, or try something totally different. You might not always get the response you want, but you’ll never know until you try.

Be funny.

Ask any woman what she’s looking for in a guy and she’ll list a sense of humour as one of her top must-have traits. Making a woman laugh is a surefire way to catch her interest and turn her on. Even a live sex site like sexier.com leaves room for men to show off a little originality in their messages to get the ball rolling for a fun and frisky night.

Less is more.

Sometimes you’re free to write paragraph after paragraph in an email and other times you’re limited to a small chat window on a live cam site for your first message. It shouldn’t really matter how much space you have because the perfect message is short and sweet. Don’t write a novel about your feelings, likes, and dislikes – just get to the point. Resist the urge to tell your life’s story, especially when you’re just interested in hooking up or having some fun online together.

Get specific.

Don’t waste her time by droning on and on without first cutting to the chase about what you want. If you’re looking for a date then be specific about it. If you just want to fool around online on Sexier.com or other live webcam sites then be upfront about that too. Women appreciate it when a man can express exactly what he wants and it saves women from having to play guessing games. If you’ve got a specific fetish or interest then let her know so she can spend less time trying to figure you out and more time working on giving you exactly what you want.

Remember your manners.

Even if you’re just trying to get laid there’s still room to be a gentleman when writing a the perfect first message. You can even talk dirty or role play without sounding like a jerk, if you pay a little attention and do it right. No woman wants to be made to feel like a doormat or like she’s beneath you, so even if you’re just looking to score make sure you’re respectful and courteous at the very least.